Thursday, January 19, 2012

On the 19th Day of Murdering Many Twists Were Revealed

For those keeping track, it may appear that this section has come out of nowhere as it bears no resemblance to the events that transpired at the end of the previous portion of the story, but since my co-writer neglected to write Part 18 yesterday, I have only been able to make assumptions of the actions that occurred during the previous section. Don't worry, Jared will fill in the blanks with a make-up Part 18 as soon as possible. Thank you kindly.

Charlie was in trouble!! The timer was ticking and Gary the P had to find some way to save him before the bomb detonated leaving Charlie a pile of gut-ridden paste on the ground before him! But with Calara still gone, Gary the P had no idea how to execute the rescue! In fact, even if Calara had been there, Gary the P still probably wouldn't have known what to do, but there would at least have been someone else in the room who actually had a properly-functioning (now hyphenated) brain to create a solution.

From over the intercom, Gary the P could hear Hubert's voice booming.

"30, 29, 28, 27..." Hubert boomed.

Time was running out! ...Clearly... And Gary the P still had no solution! Finally, he decreed that he should run as fast as his feet could carry him, which wasn't very fast at all because his feet were still tied to cinder-blocks from the events in Part 18. Still, Gary the P made it out with just enough time to spare. As soon as he exited, the bomb detonated leaving Charlie to die! Except, the bomb didn't go off... In fact, when the timer detonated, Charlie's cuffs were undone and he emerged from the seat laughing diabolically.


"Charlie! Thank God you're alright!" Gary the P mistakenly observed in an oh-so-common flash of stupidity.

"You just don't get it do you?!" Charlie booga-wooga-ed.

"Get what?" Gary the P said.

"I'm evil, Gary the P! I'm an antagonist! I'm the stereotypical double agent that reveals himself right before the final third of every mystery/action film!" Charlie explained in Greek.

"What?" Gary the P respondated.

Charlie explained again, this time in Afrikaans just to mess with Gary the P.

"Oh! You're saying that you're an antagonist and you're the sterotypical double agent that reveals himself right before the final third of every mystery/action film?" Gary the P miraculously translated.

"Err... Yes... That's exactly what I'm saying," Charlie said with his vocal cords that were all too functional.

"Mmkay. In that case, I'll have to kill you before I stop Hubert," Gary the P said as if it weren't no thang that he was just betrayed.

"Hubert, Stan, and the 200-Miles-Out-of-Springfield Mafia will succeed in their mission, Gary the Poophead!" Charlie challenged, "Prepare to get owned!" Charlie whipped out his signature turquoise nunchucks and whirled them around his head smacking himself in the face only once and quickly recovering.

"Oh no you don't!" shouted a familiar female voice from the doorway.

"CALARA! Thank God you're here!" Gary the P bellowed.

But it wasn't Calara; it was Karen the Receptionist!

"Karen?!?! But you're on our side!" Charlie the A (Antagonist) disbelieved.

"I'm a double agent too, you know. I work for the FBI and I'm here to stop you from furthur executing your plot!" she announced.

"But we've already killed 3 mayors! What kind of agent are you?!" Charlie pointed out.

In her best Bruce Willis voice she responded, "A Bad One." Then, she drew her broadsword and stepped towards Charlie the A. It was about to get real up in that piece.


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