Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Mystery of the Murder, Part 4our

The next morning, Gary the P called Calara to set up some investigation details.

"Calara! If we're gonna gonna catch the criminal, we need to get a move on! They could be anywhere!" he exclaimed. It's worth mentioning that Gary the P was, at that point, wearing three pairs of pants.

"Gary the P, it's two AM. I've been asleep for two hours. Why come?"

"Because he could have killed literally millions of other people by now! Come on! It's our duty!"

"No, it's the duty of the people whose job is catching criminals. But I see I'll never break through to you." she said with 1/2 exasperation, 3/8 condescension, and 1/8 giddiness.

" I'll take that as a yes!" Gary the P screamed.

So off they went, all the way around the corner to the scene of the crime. The body had already been hauled off to the coroner, but the area was still roped off. This didn't hinder Gary the P, since he'd brought his hedge clippers.

After harming several points of evidence, Gary the P arrived at the place where the mayor's body once laid. He bent down closely to look for a clue, any kind of clue... when all of the sudden, Calara called his attention.

"Gary the P, look at what my eyes have seen!" she exclaimed.

She held up a piece of paper, no smaller than a thumbtack, no bigger than a microwave. They opened it up from its folds, and discovered it to be one of those cliche cut-the-letters-out-of-a-magazine ransom notes, and they were both immediately displeased with the lack of creativity from the film and television industry, as well as the author's. The note read:

"Sup? Yeah, I'm the one who killed Mayor Bob the Righteous. And I'm not done. I won't stop until all mayors whose names have three letters that are followed with the word 'the' and an adjective. Yes, that includes Mayor Tim the Fabulous of Estacada, Oregon. Mayor Sid the Quizzical of Phoenix, Arizona. And last but not least, but also not greatest, Mayor Wes the Triumphant of Springfield. BUT WHICH SPRINGFIELD? Catch me if you can.

XOXO - "Hubert"

"How did the police not find this? This is pretty important evidence." Calara said.

"But now we know what we GOTTA do, Calarara! We have to warn these mayors that someone is after them!"

"No seriously, it was on the ground right next to where the body was. And it had a couple of arrows made of lime green duct tape pointing to it..." Calara yelped, but in a cute way.

"Darn it, Calara, there isn't any time left!" Gary the P squealed.

"Did you just majorly misquote Jack Bauer?" Calara asked.


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