Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mystery of the Murdering Part 15

In the three went to the Springfield City Hall! Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Karen the Receptionist who acted as if she were not a part of an at-large criminal organization.

"Hello. I am not a criminal. Welcome to Springfield City Hall!" she cascaded.

But Calara saw right through this ruse. "Shut it, Karen! Where's the mayor?" she garbled.

Shedding her facade (pronounced "Hurricane"), she spoke, "Listen Miss High and Mighty, the mayor is in a meeting right now with a very important client, and he can't be disturbed so get outta here pretty princess before I call the police."

Fed up, Charlie knocked her out.

"Let's go save the mayor!" Gary the P shouted to a shell-shocked and utterly disturbed Calara who was beginning to notice two things: 1. All males in this story are hormonal mainacs that act irresponsibly and have inappropriate reactions to everything and 2. She was more of a protagonist than Gary the P was.

Soon, Calara gathered her wits and rushed off after Gary the P and Charlie who were already banging down the door to the mayor's office.

"We've got to get in there! HANG ON, MAYOR!!" Gary the P demonstrated.

"     " said Charlie.

Soon, the two were able to bust down the door and the "heroes" bum-rushed the mayor's desk. Unfortunately, he wasn't in the office.

The heroes dashed off to the conference room and busted down the door in a perfect 5.00 minutes flat! They entered and found the mayor tied to a chair with none other than Stan Devlin standing before them.

"So nice of you  to join me," he said epicly while eating a Quiznos club. Stan had taken up Quiznos subs since he had almost died while eating a Subway sandwich.

"Stan Devlin! I thought you were dead!" Charlie didn't say. Fortunately, Gary the P did say that sentence and the point was heard.

"'Twas just a flesh wound, and now I'm back to finish you off. See, I knew all along that you'd be rushing in to save the mayor so I devised a plan. I started by-"

"Stop! Just stop now! You are a TERRIBLE villain! A real villain wouldn't explain his plan to the heroes at all! He'd just execute it! You're making this mystery literary crap!" Calara snapped.

"I suppose you're right, girl," Devlin agreed menacingly.

"I must stop you! It is my destony!" Gary the P chimed in.

"Way to interrupt the flow of the dialogue, man," Stan said, now mildly irritated at how poorly his plan was going.

"Ada masalah dengan mesin es di dapur balai kota. Saya akan menghargai jika seseorang akan memanggil montir untuk melihat hal itu, silakan." added the vaguely Indonesian mayor.

"Shut it!" Gary the P said whilst slapping the mayor in the face.

"Gary the P! That's the villain's job! Don't you guys know anything about how novels work?!" Calara said exhaustedly. This was beginning to turn into just a series of blog posts. Her dreams of becoming an A-list feminine icon in a first-rate novel were quickly fading.

"Enough of this! At dawn we ride!" Stan Devlin shouted in a menacing, gravelly voice. He then threw a smokebomb on the ground and disappeared in a flash of awesomeness.

"Wow! Stan's wrong dialogue just saved the mayor's life!" Gary the P observed.

So the three heroes untied the poor, innocent mayor and then realized something unfortunate: they still had no clue who Hubert was. But they had a plan... Again... They would stay in the city hall and just wait for Hubert to arrive and apprehend him before he could kill the mayor! It was foolproof!

Then they noticed something odd... The seal of Springfield city said underneath it "Duluth City Hall". How strange.

"%&@#" Calara vomitted profanely. "We're in the wrong city!!!"

The three bolted from the office and boarded their rowboat to make haste towards Springfield... They think...


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