Before I start writing the second part to this sure-to-be-classic, let me apologize in advance for the literary pile of dump you will be reading for the next month instead of regular blog posts. Also, since we were both too lazy to start yesterday like we planned, we're just going to do two today. Onward!
Gary the P looked closer at the dead body of Mayor Bob the Righteous. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than the fact that he was less than alive. However, when Gary the P closely examined Mayor's forehead, he saw something he was sure could only be seen by trained professionals. A massive bullet hole was taking the place of Mayor's trademark three eyebrows.
Stunned, Gary the P lifted his sunglasses, said, "I guess this mayor," finished putting on the sunglasses, and continued, "won't be running for any more elections due to his current state of lifelessness, and that more than likely wouldn't appeal to the voters."
Suddenly, Gary the P heard a man scream, "YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!" and saw a group of strange men climb into the back of a white van, who proceeded to blast The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" as they sped away. Something about this seemed odd to Gary the P... something... odd......
The next day at school, Gary the P was sitting slouchily in his desk during Government class. The teacher, Mrs. Netless, informed the class that the mayor had been shot last night. Crime scene investigators were already patrolling. It was at this point that he knew, no, wait...
Later in the day, Gary the P was sitting slouchily in his seat in the lunchroom. As he took a bite of his meat eclair, he felt a strange sensation filling his body. At first he believed it to be the aftereffects of thirteen slices of pizza, but it was at this point he knew that his destiny was to catch the murderer of Mayor Bob the Righteous.
"Gary the P, you seem indigestive," said Calara (not pronounced cholera), Gary the P's romantic interest. He had been hopelessly in love with her ever since he was five and she was two. Once it grew out of the creepiness level with age, the two became best friends. However, unluckily for Gary the P, she was a 10, while he was hovering around a 2 or 3.
"I think I know my destony, Calara!"
"You misspelled destiny, Gary the P."
"*Destiny, sorry. Anyway..." And he told her the events of last night.
"So you're going to try and compete with professionals at solving this murder?"
"It's what I'm meant to do, Calarara." "Calarara" was Gary the P's pet name for Calara. It annoyed everyone, including himself.
"Well, since we're best friends and tradition has it that I'll fall in love with you by the end of the plot, I'm going to help you too!"
So the two high fived each other so hard that both parties bled to the point of needing bandages. But the chase had just begun...
TO BE CONTINUED BY JAKE SMITH