Monday, January 9, 2012

Mystery of the Murdered Man: Part Nein

Through the eyes of Hubert

Everything was going according to plan. Three mayors with 3 letter names and titles of nobility were dead and only one remained. There was just one kink in the plan... That boy... and... That girl... (Gary the P and Calara). Hubert knew he needed to hatch a plan to stop these fiends from disrupting everything he'd worked for in this life! But how...

As Hubert boarded the canal boat to Springfield, he plotted... and he plotted... and came up with nothing.

Upon his arrival at Springfield though, everything suddenly came into focus.... Suddenly... into... focus...

Through the eyes of our heroes

Gary the P and Calara boarded the convenient plot device and began to fly to Springfield, the site of their imminent showdown with Hubert the K (Killer). But first, Gary the P thought they should have a preparatory make-out session.

Calara had to pee.

As Calara walked to the back of the plane to not actually relieve herself, she bumped into a man in a black trenchcoat. He was a practiced surgeon known for saving the lives of hundreds every year.

But she also saw a man in a turquoise blazer. He was flying to Springfield to catch some waves.

And she saw a woman with a gun!! And not just any woman, but the receptionist from the Estacada City Hall, Karen! (which the writer hastens to point out to the reader that Calara has never seen) Calara knew she must act! So she reached into her purse and pulled out Pepper Spr- .. .No, ,first she found a pack of tissue... and then Pepper Spra- no... Her lipstick tubes... and PEPPER SP- no... Then she pulled out her paddleball racket... then PEP- no, she pulled out a pack of elderberries... then she found some pepper spray! And she was immediately tackled by a stewardess assuming that she was a terrorist.

When our heroes touched down in Springfield, Gary the P and Calara were immediately taken to Courtyard Marriot security where they met Jack and Franklin, the two head honchos of Springfield Airport security.

"Yo Yo Yo! What we got here Jack?" Franklin (Who is Jewish) bellowed.

"Well, Franklin, it looks like we've got ourselves a couple of terrorists!" Jack didn't interrupt.

"Bro, what we do to da terrorists round here?" Franklin growled.

"We buy them milkshakes! And then DRINK THEM!" Jack said while frowning obtusely.

Gary the P thought this was too much and yodeled, "THE MAYOR OF SPRINGFIELD IS IN DANGER!! HE'S GOING TO BE MURDERED BY A MAN NAMED HUBERT!!!!"

Calara face-palmed.

But at the mention of Hubert, Jack's ears perked up.

"Did you say Harold?" he asked.

"No I said, Hubert," Gary the P responded to the question he was asked with.


"Yeah Yeah!" Franklin chuckled as he went to buy the milkshakes.

2 hours later, Franklin returned with the milkshakes. One was chocolate and the other was vanilla.

"You ready Jack?'

"I'm ready, Franklin!"

And the two proceeded to drink the milkshakes. However, halfway through, the two were stricken were brain freeze and fell, crippled to the ground.

Gary the P saw an opportunity and bolted out the door! Calara hesitantly followed...

They were outlaws... But soon they would be heroes... Or incarcerated...


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