Sunday, January 6, 2013

Sixth Part: Midnight In Paris

At long last, after 24 hours, it was midnight again in Paris! The team was ready to charge into Angelique's base and engage in aggressive diplomacy, so they did.

"UNH!!!" Skye grunted as she kicked in the door (Skye plays tennis, too.)

Twelve skinny men with mustaches and wife-beaters immediately dropped their baseball bats and harpoon guns from their left hands and surrendered themselves to the invaders.

"Nous ne souhaitons pas avoir un conflit avec vous, belle femme," they all shouted simultanously.

"What?" Skye yodeled, not understanding the massive din that assaulted her ears when twelve men simultaneously spoke in google-translated French.

In an attempt to clear up the confusion, one of the skinny men stepped forward.

"Bonjour. Je m'appelle Pierre. Je dois vous poser une question. Pourquoi avez-vous par effraction dans cette réunion de la Commission baleinière Homme et le Club de baseball?" he Frenched.

"You mean this isn't one of Angelique's bases?" quizzed Skye.

"What's going on, Skye?" Abrahamed.

"Apparently this isn't one of Angelique's bases. It's some sort of club," she hollered.

"But you had intel!" Abraham explained.

"Wait!" said Skye "I know what went wrong! Javier Bardem is Hispanic! He has no idea how to speak French! He must have misunderstood my request at Le Thon Lusty!"

"Oh, Javier!" LeForbes jested.

The group then had a big laugh and after having a scintillating conversation with Pierre and his buds, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, Pierre, and Jacques, the group decided to leave and find Angelique's real base. But just as they were about to depart through the door with which they entered into the fake base of operations of the criminal mastermind, Angelique, in order to set off to find the correct base, they noticed something strange.

"Wait, guys!" Officer said.

"What is it, Captain?" prodded Abraham.

"Don't you think it's odd that Pierre x11 and Jacques are having a club meeting in an underground military complex?" Officer did not say, but LeForbes did.

"You know, come to think of it, that is pretty odd," agreed Abraham.

Skye saw this as evidence enough and pulled out her rocket launcher. Suddenly, there were 4 less Pierres in the room.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" battle-cried Officer as he whipped out his pants-flute and began whacking Jacques. LeForbes joined in by materializing shotguns for himself and Abraham. The strong team of a stealth operative, detective, inept police officer, and tech expert/home boy quickly bested the 12 French men with baseball bats and harpoon guns and then set about to look for clues to Angelique's whereabouts and plans.

"Alright, guys, let's spread out and look for clues to Angelique's whereabouts and plans," instructified LeForbes.

The team began panning their eyes across the room, looking for clues to Angelique's whereabouts and plans when suddenly...

"Guys! Look at that piece of paper in Pierre (6)'s hand!" Abraham deus ex machina'd.

"Brilliant, Abraham! I knew you had good eyes!" complimented Skye (but not too complimentarily) .

"Mais qu'est-ce que ça dit?" Officer said in a foreign language.

"It reads," began Abraham. He then proceeded to read the note:

Hello, crime fighters! It is I, Angelique! I see you think you're on to my little plan of murdering people! Unfortunately for you, you are not! Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho! You see, while you have been toddling about in Paris, I have been committing more murders and planning more plans safe in my current base of operations. You will never find me; I am one of the disappeared ones.


"Nick!" LeForbes did not say because what he did say we cannot post on this blog.

"Wait, guys. I have an idea! Quick, Abraham! Pull up Bing!" Skye bossed.

Abraham proceeded to pull up Google. "What do you need?"

"Look up Angelique's current base of operations!" she said.

After scrolling through a couple of bad links, Abraham found it!

"Apparently Angelique's current base is in Somalia! Looks like we have our new destination!" Abraham jeered.

"Great! I met lots of contacts in Mogadishu after the war. They should be able to help us," LeForbes vagued.

 The team then rushed onto LeForbes water skis and the team set off for Somalia.


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