Thursday, January 17, 2013

Part 17: I'm Putting Off Calculus Homework

Officer checked his watch for the thirtieth time, in disbelief that he had waited this long in line. The team had divided up four missions for them to go on separately, and Officer had been stuck with food duty. More unfortunately for him, it was free beans day at Wendy's and the entire city of Chicago had shown up.

"Yeah, I'll have a Frosty with a side of free beans, please." a customer miles ahead of Officer said.

"UGH." Officer thought to himself out loud.

 He decided to pass the time by catching up on his Words With Friends games. It was his turn with Abraham. Unfortunately, all of his letters were E's. He employed his strategic strategy and swapped out one of them.

The line moved up about three feet.

Officer started daydreaming blissfully about where he was 3 hours ago, riding his motorcycle atop a high mountain, para-sailing across the English Channel, roller blading across Central Park, and munching on a Royale with Cheese. Those were the days.

Several more hours passed, as hundreds of customers had fulfilled their day's waiting with a very cheap-turned-free side item. Officer was finally at the front! He pulled out the list of orders the team had given him.

"Welcome to Le Wendy's, may I take your le order?" the French cashier said.

"Okay," Officer exhausted, "I'll have two cheeseburgers, three sides of fries, one burger without cheese or bread, and fifty-nine salads."

"That will be le $3.87. Would you like a side of free le beans?" the cashier asked?

"Knock yourself out."

Officer stood to the side, dodging at least a dozen patrons rushing to the bathroom.

"That's weird." he said to himself.

He looked around at all the people eating, and they all looked kind of ill. Something wasn't right.

"Here is your food, le sir. Have a le nice day!" said the cashier.

"Thanks..." Officer said suspiciously.

He looked inside his tote bag full of food and opened up the free can of beans. He took a sniff, and instantly detected something was awry, using his blood hound-like olfactory sense.

"Ricin. But that means... of course..." Officer said. He whipped around, leaped over the counter, and stormed into the kitchen.

Instantly, the workers pulled out their muskets and started firing at Officer, but he was much too nimble. He took out his nunchuks and deflected their bullets away using his expert ninja police skills. Officer sprinted past the security, knocking them out with his trademarked "Policemann Push-Push", and entered the main office.

"You!" Officer shouted at the top of lung.

"Oh, my, you're quick. Better luck next time." taunted Angelique. In an instant, she clicked her elbows together and vanished into thin air.

"What the... I've gotta get out of here." Officer said as he played the Minuet of Forest on his ocarina and warped to the Lost Woods.


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