Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Part 9: Waltz Edition

With Officer playing his pants-flute with all his might, the team danced into the warp zone to Angelique's base. Skye, Abraham, and LeForbes were expertly performing the Scandinavian Waltz as they kicked down the door on the upbeat of the 16th measure.

"Why are we doing this?" LeForbes boogied.

"Because Jared's friend hate's him." Abraham broke-the-fourth-walled.

"HEY. ANGELIQUE." Skye said in her best Charlize Theron impression.

"_____________" said no one in response.

"Poop. Which one do you think they're in?" Skye asked in reference to the 289 different doors they were facing.

"Let's try this one." LeForbes said as he entered door #154.

The team changed up their moves into the more dramatic Viennese Waltz as they followed LeForbes down a 200 meter long (15748.04 half-inches) hallway. They knocked on the door politely, then half a second later barged in.

"Oh... oh my... hold on a second..." said a shadowed figure as she finished up her Firehouse Sub sandwich.

"Yeah, no problem." Abraham responded nicely.

"Okay, one more minute..." she said hurriedly as she put the finishing touches on her makeup and changed out of her sweatpants into a pair of jeans.

"Take your time, don't sweat it!" said Skye, understandingly.

"Who are you?" the woman said with a sudden hostile change in tone, pointing an assault rifle at their face, altogether looking very nice given the time the team provided for her to get herself together.

"Same question." LeForbes responded threateningly.

"My name is... er... Angel... uh... Angelique! Wait, crap." Angelique responded in a failed attempt to disguise her identity.

"If you're Angelique, where's your backup?" Abraham quizzed.

Angelique took the quiz and answered the single free-response question in 20 minutes or less.

"She says her backup is in the other room." Abraham graded. "Crap. So where does that leave us."

"That leaves us with the warning that if Angelique doesn't stop this mass murder, we're going to have to mass murder her." Skye said in an attempt to sound really cool, but ultimately failed due to poor sentence contruction.

Officer stopped playing the pants-flute.

"Hehehe. You severely underestimate me." Angelique said as she pressed a button on her boots.

Out of nowhere, the scene was pitch black. Abraham could hear Skye and LeForbes let out girlish and manly yells, respectively. He then felt a tight pressure around his whole body for a split second, then opened his eyes to an incredibly painful headache. What he saw next could only be a work of fiction, such as this one.

"We're on Mars?"


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