"Do you guys know what we need to do to stop Angelique?" The Rock asked the new group.
"I was wondering when you'd ask that," Joan Jett responded as if they had been a group for 26 parts.
"Herbert, do your thing," Chief said with a tone that implied a rich backstory between the five characters that has yet to be seen.
"Chewbacca!" Chewbacca chewbacca'd.
"Wombat powers activate!" Herbert shouted in Wombatese.
Permanently transforming into what scientists call a "mega-protagonist", Chief Badges, The Rock, Chewbacca, Joan Jett, and Herbert melded together to form a 10 foot tall, 600 pound being with 3/5 the powers of human, 1/5 the power of a Wookie, and 1/5 the power of a talking wombat.
"Angelique doesn't stand a chance now." Frunk said to himself. (When you combine 5 barely developed characters into one, the rules of literature demand that the name be Frunk. This is taught at most high schools where I live.)
Frunk powered up his arm-jetpacks and sailed away to the Gabon wasteland to seek out Angelique for the final time.
He landed down a short time later, creating a 50 foot deep crater which the incredible force of such a being is oft to make.
Frunk equipped his thermo-ocular-sense-o-matic goggles to scout out Angelique's location. Fortunately, the crater he had created was right in the middle of her new O-shaped base. He picked a door and calmly ripped it off its hinges, then entered the building.
"I'd like to speak with Angelique, please," Frunk politely said to the receptionist past the door.
"She's in an appointment right now, can I have you wait just a little while?" the receptionist named Karen responded.
"Oh, absolutely, I'll just have a seat right here," Frunk said, sitting down in a comfortable chair.
Frunk waited for the next hour and a half in contentment, as he flipped through the newest issue of Parade magazine that was lying on the coffee table in the lobby. He finished a couple of crosswords he hadn't had time to do that morning, and sipped on a cup of hot chocolate that Karen had brought out a few minutes prior.
"Mr. Frunk, Angelique will see you now." Karen femured.
"Excellent, have a nice day." Frunk fibula'd.
Frunk walked past the locked doors into Angelique's office. His demeanor did a complete 540° as he flipped a table into Angelique's face.
"You again!" Angelique shouted, dodging the antique pembroke table thrown at her.
"I know your secret!" Frunk shouted, punching the ceiling and collapsing the entire roof.
"You can't possibly!" Angelique LeForbes'd, rising through the crumbling ruins that used to be her office, and firing off several rounds of a Nerf brand Flamethrower in Frunk's general direction.
Frunk caught the flame bullets in his hand and crushed them into flame powder, then sprinkled it in his eyes to show how hardcore he was. He then performed Moonlight Sonata on his piano he had brought with him. Angelique applauded.
"What do you want from me?" Angelique practically yelped.
"I want you to stop this senseless murder. I want you to become the person you were before all this nonsense. I want you," he said as he got down on one knee, "to be my wife."
Angelique stared at the gorgeous diamond ring Frunk had pulled out of his pocket. She immediately burst into tears and said "yes" a countless number of times.
The two embraced, their love penetrating the seemingly unbreakable boundary that had kept them from each other all these years. A serene silence permeated the room, broken only by Angelique's beautiful cries of joy.
TO BE CONTINUED BY JAKE "WHY ARE WE EVEN STILL TRYING" SMITH