Saturday, January 26, 2013

Part 26: This is What Happens When We Get Lazy and Don't Write Our Parts of the Story, Jared

The entire nation of Gabon was now a nuclear wasteland because our 4 heroes decided to take a break during Part 25 instead of disarming the warhead that they were flying aboard. Angelique had succeeded at taking the lives of millions all because poor, little Jared didn't want to write at 10 minutes till midnight. I'm sure he's very happy right now.

At least Bret Michaels was killed in the blast which gave our heroes one less villain to deal with in the end of the story.

Oh wait.

They all died because they were riding atop a nuclear warhead.

Yes, Jared. That's right. All 4 of our heroes died in the atomic blast that destroyed the poor, African nation of Gabon. Angelique's submarine was not demolished thanks to its armor plating so she and her cohorts can still commit murders as their hearts so desire.

But our heroes.

They are dead.

Nice going, you lazy jerk.


Chief Badges was sitting behind his desk eating a churro when he got a phone call from the president of the United States.

"Chief Badges?" asked Barack Obama.

"Yes, Mr. President?" he responded.

"Your team has failed to stop Angelique from killing millions. The entire nation of Gabon is gone," he said solemnly.

"How did this happen?! They were experts!" Badges raged.

"It's because Jared didn't feel like writing a proper part 25 and instead had the team take a break while they were riding aboard a nuclear cruise missile," Barack said with sadness and an accusatory tone.

"What are we going to do, Mr. President?" asked Badges.

"I've decided to call in the clean-up crew to wrap up this plot," he explained.

"I'm on it," said Chief with an epic furor as he hung up on the president of the United States.

"Karen!" shouted Badges to his office assistant, "It's time to put together the team!"

About an hour later, Badges heard a knock at his office door. In walked Chewbacca, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Joan Jett, and a talking wombat named Herbert.

"As you know, Jared has doomed an entire nation thanks to his laziness so Jake has decided that we'll be his hand-picked clean-up team," explained Chief Badges.

"Why did he pick such a random group?" asked The Rock.

"He didn't say," replied Badges, "Now lock and load. We're going to the Gabon Wasteland to put an end to this Angelique business!"


"That's right, Joan," interpreted Chewbacca, "What if Jared screws us over again?"

"That's a risk we'll have to be willing to take," said Badges.

"I'M A WOMBAT!!!" yelled Herbert.



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