Monday, January 7, 2013

Part 7: Birthday Special

"Crap!" said Jared, as he realized that he had forgotten to write the day's addition to the blog until less than an hour before midnight.

Mounted on LeForbes' skis, the team was circumnavigating the planet to find the distant, uncharted land of Somalia.

"There it is!" Officer said as he saw a landmass.

The team climbed out of the skis and checked out the place where they docked. Something was odd about it. It seemed strangely familiar. Somewhat dilapidated.

"Welcome to Springfield!" a conveniently placed welcomer said.

"Nope." said LeForbes as he cranked up the skis again.

Using a map this time, the four successfully parked in Somalia after a quick trip around the globe. After stopping for a lengthy break at one of Somalia's many Chuck E. Cheese's, Skye asked LeForbes where his contacts from the war were.

"Where his contacts from the war were?" Skye asked LeForbes.

"Oh, they're just right around the corner." LeForbes chuckled, as they were on the literal corner of Mogadishu.

Author's note: I know basically nothing about Somalia/Mogadishu, and it would be funnier to keep it that way.

The team descended the rope ladder that led into the depths of the city, following in LeForbes footsteps as they avoided birthday party decorations and the parade that was crowding the streets.

"Somalia seems like a really fun place!" Abraham said as he politely declined a man on the street offering him a free $10,000.

"Yeah, it's nice. Right around here, guys." said LeForbes.

Avoiding the hundreds of smiling children and crowds of Christmas carolers, the team made their way into a narrow path leading to a small building.

"Good mornin', gents." a 7'8", 150 lbs. man said. "How can we help ya?"

"...LeForbes, is that you?!" a 4'7", 365 lbs. man exclaimed.

"Sagan, Carl, nice to see you again." LeForbes wrote said.

"What brings ya back to the #1 capital city in the world?" the tall man, Carl, said.

"We have a problem back in America. There's some serial killer named Angelique picking off rich husbands there, and we hear that she has a base somewhere in Solamia."

"Somalia." Sagan corrected.

"Somalia. Anyway, I figured since I had connections here, that you guys must know who/where she is."

"Conveniently, we do." Sagan said. "There's such a low crime rate here in Somalia that when something criminal happens, word gets around. I assume you guys have heard about the Somalian pop music star Lord Wellingsworth, right?"

"Of course. I've got four of his songs on my Zune." Abraham said.

Everyone laughed.

"Anyway, coupla' months ago, there was a story about Lord Wellingsworth's mysterious death. He didn't have any health problems, so people assumed it wasn't natural." Carl quietly said loudly. "Ya know what his wife's name is?"

"Lady Wellingsworth?" polled Officer.

"Angelique." whispered Sagan.

"Interesting... So where does that lead us?" LeForbes asked.

"There have been reports of suspicious activity around the southern side of Bakool. It would be a good start to search around there." they both said monotonously.

"We're on it. Thanks you guys." thunk LeForbes.

"No problem. And LeForbes, don't forget the egg salad!" said Carl.

The three of them burst into a 7.3 minute long bout of uncontrollable laughter. The rest of the team assumed this was a mildly hilarious inside joke.

"Wooooooooooo... See you around."

And with that, the team was off.


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