A Play by Jared Seale

Instead of taking notes, I conjured up this little masterpiece in Biology.

A Play by Jared Seale

By Jared Seale

Cast:

Jim

Rosy

Dave

Eugene

Regina

Beth

Dequafius

[Scene 1, inside a bedroom]

[Enter Jim and Rosy from opposite sides]

JIM: Ay, babycakes! How's it going in the life of your face!?  

ROSY: [blushes] Oh, Jim, you sure do know how to sweet talk a lady!

JIM: It's what I do, stupid!

[Both take turns laughing back and forth]

JIM: So how's your tonsil hemorrhaging?

ROSY: Not too good, hon, not too good.

[Scene fades to black, smooth jazz plays loudly]

[Scene 2, inside a toy store]

[Enter Jim and Dave]

JIM: I have to get rid of Rosy.

DAVE: But she's your wife! How do you think these thoughts?

JIM: I think she's working for an enemy government.

DAVE: That's a pretty serious accusation, man! What makes you think that?

JIM: I dunno, I just have this feelin'!

DAVE: Amen to that, bro.

[Scene fades to black, smooth jazz plays loudly]

[Scene 3, inside a men's restroom]

REGINA: This is my only line.

EUGENE: Same.

[Scene fades to black, smooth jazz plays loudly]

[Scene 4, inside a car driving down a street]

ROSY: I think Jim's onto me!

BETH: That you're working for the Iranian government?

ROSY: No, that I don't have a tonsil hemorrhage. 

BETH: Is this the climax?

ROSY: Yes.

DEQUAFIUS: Shawty!

[Scene fades to black, smooth jazz plays loudly]

[Curtain call, players bow to the wildly cheering audience]

[Audience abruptly ceases applause, players moonwalk offstage]